now

sometimes, actually most of the time, i always ask myself - what have i become? or perhaps, who am i actually? or what do i really want?

from what i know i believe myself to be is, i can be ungrateful and just annoying. what do i really want? or who do i really want to be? have i been the person i am? or it is just pretend play?

In reality, what people see, my eyes are wide opened. But what i feel is, they are actually closing. my heart is closed too, not a receiver, nor much a giver. closed to the surroundings and lovely people and everything that makes me, me. What is it Syafiqah Huda? what do you want?

it's just emptiness i can feel nowadays. what's missing? i'm lost. I do things without feeling anything. Or maybe, all these experiences and messy things that has been happening these years, made me feel this way? insensitive. Angsty. Uninterested. Syafiqah.